What can I do in support for sexual abuse victims?

Self care as the name suggests is caring for ourselves. It is crucial for our well-being and continued healing, to ensure that all our needs are met. These include mental, physical, spiritual and emotional.

There are many reasons why we neglect our self-care, trauma being one of them.

I know for a fact that I struggle with it, if I’m honest I am not very good at it at all. It is something that I really struggle with and put off doing as much as possible.

I always seem to make sure everything else comes before it!!

I have realised that self-care is a way of life and I feel that we have to make a conscious decision to do it, especially in support for sexual abuse victims.

It’s not always easy, at times it can be incredibly challenging to prioritise yourself first, but ultimately without it, I know that I struggle more.

Taking care of ourselves is a responsible thing to do. Taking care of ourselves and seeking support for sexual abuse, ensures that we have resources left to help others.

During my healing journey, many people have spoken to me often about self-care and if I’m honest I used to think “Oh no not again!”

I would often ask myself what does self care actually look like?

How do I do it? and what do I do?

As I’ve travelled along my journey I have realised that self-care is not as complicated as I thought.  It can be as simple as going for a walk, sitting down and having a cup of tea, reading a book or calling a friend for a chat.

Examples like these don’t even have to be every day. It could be once a week, or once a month. It can be something big or small.  It’s about just taking time out for yourself to do something that you enjoy that is what’s important.

Taking these small steps along my journey has really helped me to manage on the difficult days.

I have learnt to plan for the week ahead, this gives me a structure which although it can change, helps me to prepare for what is to come. This allows me to manage better on a daily basis and avoids me getting overwhelmed.

I always try to put something in the diary to look forward to, as I said it can be something very simple like going for a cuppa with a friend. Then with help, I work towards planning things ahead, days out, short breaks or holidays so that there is always something to look forward to, which I find really helps on difficult days.

I have been extremely fortunate that I have had help with implementing this and someone who has written it all down for me on a schedule every week for many years.

Often friends/family are unsure what to do to help and support us, and this is something that is simple for them to do and really important for us.  I feel that these things are vital in helping us manage our healing journey.

I think the quote below is something we all need to remember and say out loud often.

“Try to Treat yourself the way you treat others”

I know for a fact that the survivors I have met are so kind and understanding to others but really hard and often unkind to themselves.

(One of the many damaging effects we have inherited because of our trauma)

Throughout the website I have asked for my ladies’ advice and opinions, giving everyone an opportunity to be involved if they would like to. This is really important to me, and I feel it has been really helpful.

We all have our own story and many of us have lived our entire life, trying to manage the effects that CSA has had on us throughout our daily lives.

So when it comes to self-care, who better to ask than you?

Each of us is individual and not all the ideas listed below will suit everyone, but my hope is that you will find one or two that will help you to allow yourself the care you undoubtedly deserve.

The list below is by no means exhaustive and I would encourage all of you to share your ideas of what works for you.

Please email me at jo@ifonlycharity.org.uk, all your suggestions will be gratefully received.